Gerard and Dylan

     Greetings all, I'm writing this from an iPad and it is extremely odd.
   
      Last Wednesday, two friends and I decided to go to Strangebrew for "Dollar Drinks". Mallory and I go pretty much every Wednesday and it is always poppin' with cool people and it's usually a good time...except last night was a total dud. Cody, Mallory, and I all arrived and it was incredibly empty and therefore it was freezing and miserable. We stayed for about 10 minutes and decided to go back to where we were familiar. Mallory and I live incredibly (some may say pathetically) close to the Cub, so we parked the car there and all three walked over. The parking lot seemed so promising yet when we walked in...it was another dud. We grabbed a drink and decided to kick it on the patio. Much worse of an idea. A man (who apparently was in a band during his glory days) brought his guitar (and decided to make all of our ears bleed) and began singing Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again". Naturally, the three of us challenged him and his "posse" by singing much louder. After Whitesnake's protege finished his lovely show, we decided to head somewhere different where we new people would be at. The poor cab driver.
      We drove by Centenary thinking there would be a house party (I know, right?), shockingly (...) there wasn't. At this point we've decided on Stray Cat because we were all very hungry but I brilliantly came up with the idea of going to Noble Savage. The kind man dropped us off and we parted ways. Noble Savage is full of very laid-back folks, mostly hipsters decked out in plaid (and I am SO okay with that). I'd only heard of one of their draft beers (Guinness) but I ended up getting an ESB which was quite delicious. We sat down at a little table where we could see into the pool room and were mindlessly chatting about the economy and other things to help us fit into the hipster crowd when I looked over and calmly said "Uh...I think that's Gerard Butler playing darts..." and it was. Mallory and I slowly began freaking out but not to where they would notice it. I tried my best to play it cool and then Cody pointed out that Dylan McDermott was part of the famous crew. That's when I began to start hitting the table, my eyes watered, and I was quietly screaming. I love(d) him.

     We went into the pool room so we could have a much better chance of meeting these people. I swear I'm not exaggerating when I say that Gerard and I continuously made seductive eye contact, he may have thought I was a psychopath but he at least noticed me and for that I am proud. Mallory was flipping out because she wanted a picture so badly and I was trying to play it cool and act like this was no big deal (on the inside I was completely on her side) because I was sure they'd become our best friends. Cody finally told us we were being babies and he walked over to them and casually said "Hey Dylan. Hey Gerard. Can they take a picture with y'all really quick?" And then came our "Sorry, we know y'all get this all the time" rants, when Dylan (I feel so close to celebrities when I refer to them by their first names) spit out "Yeah...but make it quick." Taken aback by the comment slightly I was trying to figure out how one actually goes about taking a picture "quickly". Do you run, freeze, snap, and then you're done? Naturally that's what I was thinking. So, after we said thank you and walked away, Cody begins with "Ooh...y'all are going to be kind of pissed at me..." This is why:

    You can not tell that we even took a picture with them. First off, Cody happened to adjust the lighting perfectly to where Gerard's head is blinded. Secondly, it's incredibly blurry. Thirdly, Dylan's (really cool...) deuce that he's throwing makes it look like Mallory has a massive man hand and is unfortunately chunking this gesture.

    We all sat back down at our original table and I was so unsatisfied with that picture that I convinced myself it was okay to offer to buy them a beer. Stupid. I walked up to the both of them as they were standing looking at Gerard's iPhone and politely (and awkwardly considering I'm a girl...whatever) asked "Hey, can I buy y'all a beer? Or a drink?" Then Dylan McDermott put his hand on my shoulder and said "Save your money..." like I'm some sort of peasant. It was so degrading. My jaw dropped (I know, so dramatic but I wanted to show them I could be an actress for sure). Gerard looked at me and asked if I knew what song was playing in the bar and I said "I don't believe I do" and then he shushed me...so rude Gerard, so rude.

Douche.

    After I got over the fact that two celebrities were really rude to me, Gerard started HARDCORE making out with his Brazilian model girlfriend (ugh) right in front of us. It was quite odd. She was straddling him and just going after it. So, we did what every normal person would have done and began taking pictures and yelling "I'M SENDING THIS TO PEOPLE!" "TMZ! TMZ! TMZ!"

We are so mature.

After that we walked over to Stray Cat and devoured a pizza and chatting about what the hell had just happened.

Bizarre right? Right.